It Puts the Lotion on Its Skin


Where to begin with what’s wrong with this picture?  It was found on the exterior of a grubby looking house somewhere in the viscinity of Tiffany and San Jose; strictly outside the boundaries of the uHood but sufficiently close to be blog-worthy.  Buffalo Bill would be proud.

The opening superlative sets the stage for an abundance of creepiness.  The house is not just happy, it’s super happy.  Super happy for whom?  Definitely not the naive kid strolling the neighborhood in search of affection.  Step foot inside this house and once the hug is done you’ll find a hand on your pink bits and an order to rub lotion on your skin.

But maybe I’ve got this all wrong.  Maybe it’s totally innocent and the super happy hugs are nothing more than just that.  Then again, the hand drawn nature of the sign does little to inspire confidence.  A black sharpie and a sheet of letter sized paper says “touched by an uncle” much more than it says “touched by an angel”.  Stranger danger, kids!  Stay away!  Honk like the Fonz!

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